Welcome to Bambi Baby

Hi, Hello, Hey,

I’m pretending that we’re having a conversation, and this is how it's going: 

(I tried to hug when you walked into the room, whether or not that was uncomfortable for you determines the tone of voice you’ll read this in. If it was an unwelcome advance; I’m sorry, I just love a good cuddle and personal boundaries aren't my strong suit but I'm working on it I swear.)

You: Why is your blog called Bambi Baby? Aren’t you moving to Cambodia to do anti trafficking work? Shouldn’t you have a more serious name? Perhaps a bible verse reference? Or maybe something about how white middle-class people can save the world just because of their entirely undeserved privilege? Surely you could've at least come up with an obscure reference to a cool word in another language that you don’t actually speak?

Me: Thanks for asking (insert your name here), I’ve been waiting for this opportunity to arise so that I could clear up any confusion that might arise between me and the Bambi Baby website that sells baby furniture at what I can only assume is a remarkable discount (I don't have any babies for which to buy furniture, sorry Mum, maybe one day when I'm done comparing myself to a cartoon deer.)

Here’s the thing: I like a lot of things about Bambi. I like that Bambi really loves his Mum. I like that Bambi makes friends that are different to him. I like that he’s curious. I like that he comes to understand who his father is, and that eventually, that’s what leads him to lead others home. I'd like to be more like Bambi in a whole lot of ways.

I like the scene where Thumper shows Bambi how he can glide across the ice, and then he tries to get Bambi to do it too. Bambi is so awkward. His legs flail and his little eyebrows get furrowed and for a minute he just lies there. Then, Thumper helps him up, and says “Kinda wobbly, aren’t ya?”

I don’t think I’ve ever related more to a cartoon character in my life.

So Bambi falls again, Thumper helps him up again. Rinse, do your shower dance, slip, repeat. I’ve been Bambi and my best friends have been Thumper so many times. In fact, if you’re reading this, you’ve probably been Thumper for me or at least observed this moment on multiple occasions.

I’m about to do something that makes my knees even wobblier than they are naturally (which is really quite impressive of the challenge I’m taking on because metaphorically and literally speaking my legs are largely unstable). But I’m doing it because I know who my Father is and I know what he’s leading me into. I trust in him to keep me safe, and to give me the courage to try again when I flail and my eyebrows get furrowed and for a minute, I just lie there. I believe that he'll bring Thumpers into my life to push me to stand. 

Bambi Baby is about the blunders and the bounce backs that are likely to take place over the course of this new journey I've wound up on. I want to share with you in the everyday magic and breaking of moving to Cambodia, on my own, to stand up for something I’ve always known I should’ve. I’d love to share with you why I’m passionate about what I’m doing as well as what the breakfast vibes are like in Phnom Penh. I’d like to tell you stories that move you as well as ones that make you feel very embarrassed for me.

You: Ok, thanks Lydia, that’s good to know. Next time say it in less words.

Me: I really appreciate your constructive feedback, thanks. I love you (still working on the personal boundaries thing), talk soon.